I peered into the bathroom mirror at a hollow shell of a woman. I clung to what I recalled people said about me as I stared into my own hazel eyes...
“She’s so happy all the time.”
“She’s just so confident.”
“I’ve never met a young woman so deep in her faith.”
I slipped out of my trance and into the shower. I let the water pour down my worn body as I spoke to myself…
“You’re such a hypocrite.”
“You’ll never be worth anything.”
“You’re damaged goods for the porn you look at every day.”
“You know you’ll have to tell your husband one day… he won’t want you.”
“You’re so stupid. Aren’t you ashamed?”
I looked down at my hands and envisioned them covered in clay-like mud. They were caked with the sin of pornography… a reflection of the state of my heart.
It wouldn’t be more than a few minutes later that I would receive deep conviction and hope from the Lord. That night changed my life. It was the pivotal point when I turned from sin, darkness, and hate, turning to forgiveness, hope and truth!
WHOSE SIN IS IT
Pornography has been labeled as a “Man’s Sin,” leaving women particularly ashamed when they battle it. While research has shown that a larger percentage of men indulge in pornography, only a small percentage of women are willing to admit their struggle with it, making it a secret.
Where are these women? Who are they?
Maybe she’s your sister or best friend. Maybe she’s your mentor. Maybe she’s your waitress or neighbor.
Maybe she’s you.
Over the years of sharing my story of indulging in and now battling pornography as a Christian woman, I’ve had countless women and girls share with me their own addiction to porn. More often than not, each woman feels isolated, lonely, and ashamed in her addiction.
In a survey by Marie Claire, 300 women volunteered to discuss their porn use and motivation. The results are as follows:
31% of the women said they watch porn every week
90% view porn on the internet. Others confessed viewing it through Pinterest, books, magazines, movies, and even listening to it in music and podcasts.
75% discovered porn by accident
This is the best kept secret, my sisters. We seem to fall silent when it comes to pornography. If we can’t share every battle with each other, what can we share? Do we draw the line at struggles that may actually involve accountability and sanctification?
Though there are many questions when it comes to Christian women and porn, I want to ask one key question. This is directed to you beloved, redeemable women that view porn either occasionally or daily...
Are you ready to fight porn?
3 KEYS TO FIGHTING PORN:
- Forgiveness. First things first, talk to the Lord. Weep over your selfishness and bury your head in the grace of God. First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” We must wholeheartedly accept His forgiveness and then forgive ourselves to experience freedom from the overwhelming guilt and shame we’ve carried.
- Confession. You will have already confessed to God, but Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” If you are married, you must confess your porn addiction to your spouse. For married and single women alike, you must speak to another Christian woman. Ask for accountability, prayer, and encouragement. Without this confession, you will fail in your fight against porn.
- Resolve. Once the Lord forgives you, which is instantaneous, stand up and resolve to seek a new heart. The heart within you is sullied with sin and hurt. To fight porn, you will need a new one. It will not do to attempt to re-birth the old heart or try to mend the sick heart. Ezekiel 36:26 contains a promise from God, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Let me be very clear. Porn is a heart issue. Resolve to seek a new heart from the Lord. He will grant your plea for restoration and healing.
It would be my joy and pleasure to meet with you in person to share more of what the Lord has taught and equipped me with in this fight. I would count it a privilege to help carry your burden, as you in turn carry mine with me. You can reach me through email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You cannot fight this alone, my sister. You were not made to! As my friend and mentor, Stacee, would say, “you are worth saving!” If you are bought with the blood of Christ, you are more than a conqueror! Be emboldened to bring this best kept secret into the light of God’s forgiveness and grace.
Meet the Author!
Hannah Hanzel is an opinionated, passionate gal that loves sharing what God is doing in her often busy and complicated life. She strives to show God's glory in working as the Art Director for the Baptist Messenger, serving as a multi-client freelance graphic designer, and communing with CRBC. When she's not working, you can find her sipping coffee in a hammock, watching classic '40s movies, or going on an adventure with friends or family.