For years, I loved listening to Bob Reed‘s wonderfully smooth, deep bass voice as he sang at church. You couldn’t resist returning his ready smile. I knew I hadn’t seen him in quite a while, but didn’t know why until this past year when the CRBC Women’s Ministry started a new ministry called The Table, placing his very spunky wife, Alice, and I in the same multi-generation small group.
Alice is a gem for many reasons. She is ornery and fun, deeply loyal and quick to serve. I can’t believe that I had missed out on knowing her and her sweet love story for all these years, I wanted to introduce you to her today. You might want to keep a Kleenex handy...
WHEN AND HOW DID YOU AND BOB MEET?
We met on June 9, 1960 at a youth revival where Bob led the music and I sang a solo. I thought he was kinda cute and had a fun personality, always making me laugh. He was a good Christian guy and I fell pretty hard and quick. We just celebrated our 60th anniversary!
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SWEETEST BLESSINGS OF A LONG-TERM LOVE?
Bob and I went through many hard times together, like when I lost my mother, then my sisters and brothers, grandparents, father, aunts and uncles. Each of us have experienced difficult times, health issues, surgeries, job issues. I think I always knew I could depend on him to be there for me.
There was a really rough period of several months that I went through a deep, dark depression and Bob was there for me, night and day, wiping my tears, praying with me, holding my hand and offering me his complete empathy even though he had no idea what was going on with me. And neither did I. But God did, and He saw me. No! He saw US through one more nightmare!
BOB’S CURRENT DIAGNOSIS IS A DIFFICULT ONE. WHAT IS IT AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BOTH BEEN DEALING WITH IT?
Bob was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about eight years ago. This cruel disease has moved slowly, which is good, but it still continues to worsen. In the early stage, on advice of others whose loved ones suffered with similar diseases, I began searching for a good support group that might offer me some much-needed understanding of these types of illnesses. Fortunately, I found and joined a wonderful group which has helped me tremendously. We share our stories, laugh, cry, hug and care about one another. I have really missed this group due to the Pandemic. I hope that we can regroup soon!
Bob and I don’t discuss his illness a lot, but he knows what it is called and once in a while I try to explain to him why he might feel a certain way and why he is not to blame, but that it is the disease that makes him tired, confused and forgetful. It has changed him in so many ways. Physically, he was never sick, lazy or sad. Now, he rarely goes anywhere, he’s almost always tired, sad, irritable and/or unhappy. But, he loves his kids, his grandkids and, most of all, his great grandkids. If he’s told you about “Little Girl” once, he’s told you a million times!
DURING THIS DIFFICULT SEASON, WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICAL WAYS YOU HAVE LIVED OUT YOUR VOWS TO HONOR AND CHERISH YOUR HUSBAND?
Well, I’m not sure that I have always kept my vows. Sometimes it's really hard to remember, “That’s not Bob,”, “He’s not himself today”, “He doesn’t mean that”, “Bob would never say or do that if he were still the ‘old’ Bob!” But, even though I get angry at him and I occasionally react in a “less than loving way”, I remember how he was years ago when he would dress up as “Roberta” for Halloween, when he used to run the sweeper, cook dinner or wash dishes for me. When he said to someone he didn’t know was a former boyfriend of mine at a wedding, “See that pretty dark haired girl? I’m gonna marry her someday. Just hide and watch!” And when he asked me to get him a piece of gum from the glove compartment so I would find the engagement ring he had placed there to surprise me.
We have had some hard times and we will probably have more. But we’ve certainly had lots of good times--raising our two daughters, teaching them to love the Lord, thirty years plus that Bob sang with the Apostles quartet, some wonderful friendships and more!
I would give anything if my lifelong partner did not have to suffer like he does and I just pray that he can always remember my favorite saying,
“Loved you yesterday, Love you still; Always have, Always will.”
THAT IS THE LOVE OF COMMITMENT.
Meet the Author!
Bible teacher, author, inspirational speaker and disciple-maker, Vickey Banks is passionate about helping women connect the dots between God’s Word and their everyday lives. She loves serving as Women’s Ministry Director at Council Road, celebrating her people, playing with her puppy and getting lost in a good story.