Hello Friends!

If we have had a conversation in the past couple of months, we have probably discussed the Enneagram. If you have not heard of the Enneagram, it is a personality test that has become quite the fad recently. I think it goes into more depth than many other personality tests, asking you specific questions about your personality with results being a number from 1-9. Each number has its own qualifications and distinctions. If you’re interested in learning more about and/or taking the test, click HERE. For great descriptions of each personality type, click HERE.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, below is a brief bulleted list of how each Enneagram number shows their love and how they want to receive love. Also, at the end of each number, I have left a link that takes you to a playlist made for each Enneagram number. I hope this is helpful in spreading love and care for others!


Show their love for others:

  • Help you to come to the right solution

  • Give encouragement from truth, not flattery

  • Research like crazy in order to come to the truth

Want to receive love:

  • Genuine encouragement on their good qualities and works

  • Help them fight their inner critic with truth

  • Do not publicly call out their shortcomings, but in private and with gentleness



Show their love for others:

  • Sacrifice their time to help with anything

  • Intently Listen

  • Are emotionally available

Want to receive love:


  • Physical affection

  • Accept them for who they are and not how well they can serve you



Show their love for others:

  • Help you pursue your best self

  • On point when assembling a game plan in order to accomplish a task

  • Will help you in whatever way in order to gain approval

Want to receive love:

  • Accept them for who they are and not how well they can perform

  • Talk about deeper topics

  • Affirm their good qualities



Show their love for others:

  • Talk about deep topics because they care about your opinions and values

  • Emotionally judgement free and can handle the heaviest conversations

  • Will express the beauty they see in you and in the world

Want to receive love:

  • Let them feel the freedom to feel and express their emotions without judgement

  • Show you care for their passions

  • Emotional affection



Show their love for others:

  • Offer their knowledge in support

  • Can help you separate feelings from thoughts

  • Seek to understand a person and their perspective

Want to receive love:

  • Words of affirmation

  • Seek to understand their feelings, passions, and thoughts

  • Truly listen to them

  • Give them space to think and express their thoughts



Show their love for others:

  • LOYAL -- will go to bat for you every time if they trust you

  • Bring imagination and ideas to the table

  • Offer a safe place for people to be and talk

Want to receive love:

  • Words of affirmation

  • Remember little details

  • Let them know that you are committed




Show their love for others:

  • Take you on all the adventures

  • Biggest supporter of your passions

  • Words of affirmation

Want to receive love:

  • Match their energy level

  • Be excited about their passions

  • Freedom to come down from their excitement and just be who they are without all their energy



Show their love for others:

  • INTENSITY in all areas of life

  • Generous with their power

  • Protect the people they love

Wants to receive love:

  • Freedom to be independent

  • Let them feel that there is not a struggle for power in your relationship

  • Clear communication of expectations



Show their love for others:

  • Seek happiness in order to keep the peace

  • Can see through you and see the authentic you

  • Deep conversations

Want to receive love:

  • Space to think and feel

  • Reassurance of who they are

  • Let them feel understood in their avoidance of confrontation, but also help them to deal with confrontation in a gentle and healthy manner


I hope this is helpful! I am not an expert in the Enneagram, but someone that finds it incredibly interesting. Shoutout to all the awesome people who filled out the survey I sent out for this article. All of your input is much appreciated! Also, we should know that the Enneagram should not shape our identity in any matter; God is the only one to mold you and I. Happy Valentine’s Day!


Meet the Author!

Hailee Alcaida is the 9th grade English teacher at Bethel Acres High School. Being an English teachers combines two of Hailee’s passions: literature and building relationships. Hailee and her students love to laugh at the current memes, dab, and learn about the world through reading and writing. Living with an enneagram 7 helps her to put a book down, get out of their house, and explore OKC with friends and all its fun that it has to offer. By the way, Hailee is an enneagram 4w3. Continue the conversation with Hailee – email halcaida2212@gmail.com.